In Which a Break is Torture

Back in high school, winter break was one of the best things ever. Only second to summer break. There was Christmas, and New Years, and all this free time and hanging out with friends. And all in the middle of the school year! It was like this crazy awesome thing that I never wanted to end. I don’t think I can even fully describe how much I loved winter break in high school, because the words do not exist.

Now that I’m in college, though, my feelings toward winter break have changed. Basically it’s still fun for the first couple weeks (about as long as high school break lasts), but it gets old. Really old. Really quickly.

I have one week left until classes start again and I’m basically going crazy with how much free time I have. This probably says something about my personal life and how I need to get more hobbies/be more productive. But this clashes with the fact that during the winter all I want to do is sleep, lay in bed, sleep some more, contemplate life, and generally just do nothing. And I have the knowledge that the break is only a month long, meaning I can’t really start any big projects, because school is actually right around the corner.

So I’m stuck with this weird mix of WOW I’M SO BORED I MIGHT JUST SLEEP FOR A WEEK and WOW I REALLY DON’T WANT TO DO ANYTHING BECAUSE I’LL BE SUPER BUSY IN TWO WEEKS. ‘Cause you know once classes start again you’ll have no real free time, so you want to cherish the free time you have. But then you have too much free time. Free time coming out the wazoo, if you will. And I don’t know if this happens to everyone else, but for me I just kind of look at the looming busy school schedule, look at all this free time I have, and then shrug my shoulders and go on Tumblr for about 17 hours.

I’m sure, though, once the semester starts, I’ll be thinking, Boy I can’t wait until summer gets here. But I won’t plan anything for summer, and the madness will ensue again. But for right now, I really want school to start so I have something to fill all this empty time.

Posted on: January 9, 2012 | 8 Comments

Ringing in the New Year

Tonight’s New Years Eve, and for a lot of people that signifies a new start. Out with the old and in with the new. On Tumblr, I’ve seen a lot of pictures conveying the idea that 2011 sucked and 2012 will be better. But people seem to say this every year. One picture was even captioned with “2011 sucked 2012 will be better, 2010 sucked 2011 will be better, 2009 sucked 2010 will be better” etc.

While I would have definitely empathized with those sentiments in 2010 and 2009, this year I’m actually happy with how things went.

In 2011 I made one year at my current job, I became closer with some good friends both online and offline, played in a band for a year, finished a semester at community college, and in general I think I’ve learned more about myself and who I am. I think I’ve matured (or at least I hope I have) and through becoming more familiar with myself, I think I’ve become more comfortable with who I am. I’ve always been awkward, but I’ve often tried being someone I’m not. I’ve always wanted to be “cool,” whatever that means, so I’ve been through various phases blah blah blah typical teenage things. But now I think I’m pretty much doing what comes naturally to me. Which is usually being awkward. But I rock it.

Also really important to me is that I finished a semester of school. Some of you may know that I’ve attended and dropped out of college twice, never completing a semester. This is the first time I’ve actually made it through an entire semester, even if it is community college. So I’m proud of that. And I’m looking forward to next semester, and eventually getting my degree. I’m looking forward to the future.

To everyone who felt that 2011 sucked, I hope 2012 treats you better. And to everyone who’s happy with the past year, I wish you more of the same. This past year has been good to me and I hope 2012 has more good things in store. Or the apocalypse. Either one.

Happy New Year everyone. <3

Posted on: December 31, 2011 | 5 Comments