My Eyes, My Eyes!

Or, “Why I Am the Worst Person to Have Contact Lenses.” Or, “How I Am Going to Go Blind at a Young Age.”

I’ve been wearing contacts for years now. Six years actually. And you know what? I actually don’t have a pair of glasses with a current prescription. You wanna know when I got the only pair of glasses I own? Six years ago.

Obviously that means I always wear contacts, all day erryday. And I don’t have the special contacts that are okay to leave in and stuff. I have the kind that you’re supposed to wear for like eight hours a day and throw out every two weeks. Funny story. I wear my contacts for however long I’m awake (usually 15-18 hours) and change them, oh, once a month. You know what you’re NOT supposed to do with contacts? Wear them for 15-18 hours a day and use the same pair for a month.

Wow look at the similarities between what I do and what you’re not supposed to do!

Listen, it’s not as bad as it seems. It’s not like I’m trying to say, “I hate you eyes, I am going to make you suffer!” I just…don’t have a pair of glasses that I can reasonably wear. The ones I do have are drastically weaker than my current prescription. And glasses are expensive. And I’m irresponsible and lazy. And I don’t really like wearing glasses much. So…yeah, it is pretty much my fault. Sorry eyes.

But at least I’m not as bad as some people. My one friend’s co-worker apparently wears the same pair of contacts for months. And she doesn’t take them out. She sleeps with them in. Anyone who has contacts knows what it’s like to sleep with your contacts in. It’s as if your eyes are people and you decide to smother their faces with plastic bags until they are almost dead. Repeatedly.

So I’m not as bad as some people are with contacts. But, I am bad. And I really need to invest in a pair of glasses that I won’t mind wearing.

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