Accidious

I was a weird kid. Take 2.

If you’ll recall, I previously posted some gems from my first grade journal. I said I would post some more if you wanted. But then I kind of forgot about that. But now I remembered! And even if you didn’t want me to post more, I’m posting more anyway!

“Sometimes I worry about me getting kidnapped because my head will be chopped off.” My fears haven’t actually changed much since I was 7. I am still VERY afraid of being kidnapped. I’m not as afraid of getting my head chopped off, though, because I’ve since learned about much more horrific things that can happen to you when you’re abducted. Thank you Criminal Minds, Law & Order and CSI for informing me about the awful, awful things that can happen to people who are abducted.

This picture could have been so much worse.

Moving away from my childhood (and adult) fears, we find some truly great advice from 7-year-old me:

Ten excuses for not doing my homework:

1. I am sick.
2. I didn’t eat dinner.
3. I’m cleaning my room.
4. My mom accidentally threw it away.
5. It’s ripped.
6. I forgot it in my mailbox.
7. I forgot to.
8. I don’t have any.
9. I’m taking a bath.
10. I killed myself(?).

Honestly, I don’t think you could find any better excuses for not doing your homework. I don’t know why your homework would be in your mailbox, but if it’s in your mailbox you certainly can’t hand it in! And who cares if it’s not really in your mailbox? Your teacher isn’t going to check. As for excuse number ten, I wouldn’t suggest actually killing yourself to get out of homework. But when asked why you don’t have your homework, tell your teacher that you killed yourself. Tell her you’re a lingering spirit, chained to this world by unfinished business (and homework).

I know some of you (Clem) don’t do homework, so I hope you find good use for these excuses. You probably won’t want to use number ten a lot, though.

Posted on: March 5, 2011 — 5 Comments

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