What’s that in my chimney?
Is it Santa Claus, paying me an extra-special late visit in February? Is he bringing me everything I’ve ever dreamed of – fame, fortune and a loving boyfriend? :D
No. It is not. It is actually some animal. Some animal who didn’t even bring gifts (the nerve!).
Ever since winter rolled around, there have been a few animals who either, fell into my chimney, or decided it would be a cool place to crash since it’s probably way warmer in there than outside. And then I randomly hear it moving around and scratching the metal divider that separates the house from the chimney when the wood-burning stove isn’t in use.
Needless to say, the first time this happened, I was freaked out. It was like 2am, I was just starting to fall asleep and suddenly I hear weird scratching noises. I thought it was weird, but I just ignored it. Then it kept happening.
Finally I was like Where is this noise coming from?! The chimney? Sounds like an animal in there. Oh god is it going to jump out and maul my face?! D: That is plausible, right? Oh, it’s trapped inside the chimney. Oh. I guess I’ll just ignore it then…
For a while I felt incredibly bad because there was an animal trapped in my chimney and it would probably starve to death. Actually, I still feel kind of bad. But what am I supposed to do? It’s not my fault that some animal went in my chimney and realized, oh shit, I’m stuck in a chimney.
So instead of imagining a poor, unsuspecting animal falling into my chimney and slowly dying, I like to imagine a happy animal who stumbled upon this vacant chimney and decided to turn it into a cozy bachelor pad. All that rustling I hear is him snuggling up under the leaves! And the scratching is just him climbing out to get some food and maybe some biddies to bring back and spend the night with. Yeah, he’s really living the good life in my chimney, that sly squirrel.
Yeah, I know, completely irrational, but it’s way more appealing than the alternative.
Hello, my name's Josh and I might be a hipster (you decide!). I've been blogging and designing in some form for the past eight or so years and I think I'm starting to get the hang of it (once again, you decide!). I love indie music, coming of age stories, sarcasm, video games, and aesthetics. At the moment I'm working part-time and going to college with hopes of being a web designer. 
Posted by Clem — Monday, February 7th 2011
See, I would probably go in the other direction and think it was some genetically modified murderous beast and live in fear forever. :P
Posted by gem — Monday, February 7th 2011
I totally think they can climb out and do make it into a home. Otherwise when they died you would smell them, yknow? We had one in our bathroom vent for awhile, but then it disappeared. Sans smell. Ergo, alive!
Posted by Josh — Monday, February 7th 2011
@Gem: Hey you’re right! I don’t smell the rotting corpses of animals, so it does get out! :D I guess they really are just chilling inside of my chimney and mooching off of my heat, those jerks!
Posted by Cammie — Monday, February 7th 2011
I think the smarter critters usually find their way back out okay. Although, in my grandmother’s case two squirrels found their way into her fireplace chimney …. and then into her living room. I must admit getting the phone call to come help trap them in the room until animal control could get there was priceless!