Pooping is a luxury
Rather, pooping in a toilet and being able to flush it is a luxury. Or, more directly, running water is a luxury. But talking about running water is boring! Poop is much more hilarious. That’s like rule number one of comedy, right? Poop = funny? Yes. Yes it is.
Moving on. Saturday night, I discovered that the water in my house had stopped running. At first it was like, Oh, this is inconvenient. Now I can’t make tea. Then it was like OH, this is inconvenient, now I can’t take a shower. Then it was like OH, I JUST REALIZED I CAN’T USE THE BATHROOM AND FLUSH.
You really never think about how important running water is until, ya know, it’s gone. It particularly sucks when it decides to be gone JUST when you were about to take a shower. A shower that was put off for a day, putting you at two days without showering. My count is now FOUR days without showering, going on FIVE. You don’t need to inform me how unshowered I currently am. I assure you that I am well aware, and am making plans to shower elsewhere if ours doesn’t become available soon.
This is the crappy side of having well water. Your water supply is not run by the city/town/whateves. It’s in your yard. It is in your yard, underground, and you need some guy to come out and look at it if anything goes wrong. Until then NO WATER FOR YOU. The upside, though, is that well water is free and tastes good. Totes worth it.
As for pooping, I haven’t quite figured out what my plan is. Maybe I’ll eat lots of cheese and potatoes to clog my digestive tract until the water is back. Or I’ll take a page out of my cats’ books and just bury it. Tune in next time to see what I do with my poo!
I’m sure this post was TMI and talking about doody is probably wildly uncouth, but…Idc. :P
Hello, my name's Josh and I might be a hipster (you decide!). I've been blogging and designing in some form for the past eight or so years and I think I'm starting to get the hang of it (once again, you decide!). I love indie music, coming of age stories, sarcasm, video games, and aesthetics. At the moment I'm working part-time and going to college with hopes of being a web designer. 
Posted by Amanda — Monday, December 13th 2010
I suggest you turn it into fertiliser.
Posted by Diana — Monday, December 13th 2010
It’s cool, Jawrsh, talk about your poo. Your blog, yes?~
Omg, that stinks, though. I take it you’ve been poopin’ at work? I hope your well gets well soon!
Posted by gem — Monday, December 13th 2010
Oh man, that is the worst. The poop thing… well, public restrooms. I would be more annoyed about the shower thing. Public poops are annoying enough, but public showers are just unacceptable.
Posted by Clem — Monday, December 13th 2010
That’s funny, because we were having plumbing problems too and I was showerless for a few days. Luckily there’s a YMCA two blocks away so if it got really desperate we could have just showered there… but, yes, I know what you mean.
Posted by Josh — Monday, December 13th 2010
@Amanda: Good idea, I will start a farm.
@Diana: Luckily this hasn’t clashed with my pooping schedule yet AND it seems we’re getting the well fixed today. So I should be good. :D
@Gem: Yeah, that was my plan really. Even though I hatehatehate pooping in public restrooms. I HATE IT SO MUCH.
@Clem: I’m going on day five with no shower. :D Hopefully I can shower tonight.
Posted by Nellie — Monday, December 13th 2010
Like clockwork, whenever the water goes out at my parents’ place, I need to poop. But the problem is usually easily fixed by my dad, so the longest they ever go without water is about half an hour.
I do hope you’ve at least been having “Maori showers” (spraying your stink bits with body spray). :P
Posted by Meg — Thursday, December 16th 2010
Being grossed out by a blog post is a luxury.
Just kidding :P
I hope your running water has returned by now and your poo is in the sewage system.
Posted by Jana — Monday, December 20th 2010
I agree with Amanda. You could sell it and make some monies! or spread it over your own garden, or grass. Coming from a dairy farmer, I think this is a very smart idea.
And. HAHA @Nellie. Maori showers. Classic.
Posted by Danielle C. — Monday, December 27th 2010
The water thing happens to me sometimes but not the the extent of 5 days. just a max of 24 hours. you could go to the nearest Mcdonald’s and perform the act there. Surely, they have water.
Posted by Courtney — Friday, December 31st 2010
I have totally been in your situation! Two years ago when I moved in with a couple friends into a friend’s house, we had to get the water fixed as pipes were broken. We also had well water and we went at least a month if not more without water! Sponge baths were taken and we went into town and got free water from the gas station and filled up empty milk jugs for making food and stuff like that!
As for the pooping thing…. we totally made a port-i-potti type thing in the backyard… you did TMI so so am i! haha. We were out in the country though and we didn’t have a shelter for it… just sat down on a big bucket and did our business. sucked when it was raining. lol
I hope you get your water fixed soon!
Posted by Vera — Monday, January 10th 2011
I was going to ask what you had inhaled prior to writing this post… but then I remembered how bad lack of running water could be.
One day there was a few hours of water outage (people working on the street and had to shut off the water). Oh my gawd, did I have to go to the bathroom as soon as I read the email informing us about it? And I had had no problem prior to reading the email. :(
Posted by My Band Rocks » Awesome Blog — Thursday, January 13th 2011
[...] that I haven’t blogged for some time. And it’s not just because I really like the poop entry. My life has become extraordinarily routine and I’ve come down with writer’s block, but [...]