The End of a Long Friendship
Recently (last week) I ended a roughly 8 year friendship. It had its ups and downs, but I felt like it was really time for us to just go our separate ways. Clem and Aisling know aaaallll about it. It’s a long, angsty, stupid tale.
Ultimately, Ash and Clem will tell you that he was an asshole and they’ll ask “WHY DIDN’T YOU STOP TALKING TO HIM MONTHS AGO?” And I’ll say “I DON’T KNOW I WAS STUPID I GUESS.” But it’s over now, and I think it’s for the best. And after I explained my reasoning to him, he stopped being a passive aggressive ass and agreed that we should just end it civilly. And so we did. Woo! That’s probably the most civil he’s ever been.
So now I’m left with the afterthoughts that come with ending a long friendship. Although I’m positive it was a good decision (he was a jerk), there’s still little what-ifs. And it just feels a little weird, since I’ve been friends with him for so0o0o long. Ya know? It’s like something that’s always been there is just gone. BUT. I’m confident that I’ll only be a better, more happy person with him gone. I can’t emphasize how much of an a-hole he was. :P
And I am going to request that Clemmie and Ash remind me of how much he sucks in case I start to rethink my decision.
Have any of you ever ended a long/childhood friendship? Was it your decision? Do you regret it?
Hello, my name's Josh and I might be a hipster (you decide!). I've been blogging and designing in some form for the past eight or so years and I think I'm starting to get the hang of it (once again, you decide!). I love indie music, coming of age stories, sarcasm, video games, and aesthetics. At the moment I'm working part-time and going to college with hopes of being a web designer. 
Posted by Clem — Tuesday, January 26th 2010
Hey, look, he is an asshole and he has huge eyebrows and he gets mad when you say “I see” and he uses big words incorrectly and he is very annoying and he didn’t support you in your time of need and he doesn’t like that you take care of your sister and he called you ugly.
Posted by Josh — Tuesday, January 26th 2010
He called me ugly too? D: I don’t remember that, but it sounds like something he’d do.
Posted by Aisling — Tuesday, January 26th 2010
You know what I think and you also know my big friendshiploss sob story. I’m not sure I’ll be able to ALWAYS remind you of how horrid he was, though. Sure, he did all the things Clem mentioned and he should be punished for that. But, I also believe that people change and sometimes we’re just faced with things that we can’t properly deal with for a while and it causes us to lash out in inappropriate ways. He could change. I’m not saying soon, I’m not even saying this year, but one day your paths could cross again and it could work. I’m not saying to wait for it or to expect it but if it does happen, by chance, I wouldn’t automatically write it off. But that’s just me. I see the best in people and believe in second (third, fourth, fifth..) chances and sometimes I get hurt but it’s worth it to me and it’s just who I am.
Posted by Josh — Tuesday, January 26th 2010
Ash, you inspire me so much. :D
Posted by Clem — Tuesday, January 26th 2010
Yes, he called you ugly on that Facebook status you two were having a fight on. This was like… a month or two ago.
Anyway, he might change, sure, but I definitely think it’s best to not associate with him right now. He’s just poisonous.
Posted by Regina — Tuesday, January 26th 2010
I’ve never ended a friendship, most of them just kind of drift away from me. Moving a lot doesn’t really help either. :P
I’m glad you decided to end that friendship though, it’s a bad idea to be friends with someone who always gets you down. :)
Posted by Amy — Tuesday, January 26th 2010
I’m going through the same thing right now, except he’s basically stopped bothering with me for whatever reason and I’m to the point where I’m tired of trying to make a one way friendship work.
Regardless of who ends it, or the circumstances surrounding it, it still hurts but eventually you’ll be better off because of it. :)
Posted by Jess — Tuesday, January 26th 2010
awwwwwww JOSHYY you never told me thiiiis D: <3
i've never ended a friendship outright really, but i've drifted apart from some friends, online and off.
Posted by Diana — Wednesday, January 27th 2010
Aw :( I think if he was a jerk, discussion should end there. What-ifs are pointless with jerks. That stinks. Sounds like you were attached to the friendship.
I’ve only drifted apart from people, too. Well, some people have ended friendships with me. For stupid reasons, ~obviously~ Like, I was holding back their popularity.
P.S. I don’t know where to say this, but your top links are effing up for me over here D:
Posted by Scott — Wednesday, January 27th 2010
Awww! D:
I ended a relationship with two of my best friends… They were getting me into trouble and they really changed. They always bossed me about and tried to make me do things I didn’t want to do. One word: MORONS.
I have given them both more than enough chances and it just never worked, so it had to end.
Posted by Kaylee — Wednesday, January 27th 2010
I’ve never officially ~ended~ a long or childhood friendship. It’s mostly been people drifting away. None of my friends have turned out to be mean/jerks or anything, so I’ve never had to end things!
Posted by Manda — Thursday, January 28th 2010
I’ve never ended a long-term/childhood friendship simply because I only have one (and she’s my bestest friend in the entire world :P) That’s because I moved around internationally a lot as a kid, so I don’t really have many long-term friends. Just short-term ones :)
Posted by Lucy — Thursday, January 28th 2010
My best friend and I (of seven years) pretty much ended our friendship, unofficially. It was after an incident, and we pretty much stopped talking after it. I really do regret it now, but what’s done is done. Perhaps once I move back to Texas, and maybe get the courage to get in contact with her and make amends. But for now, I just live with the regret that I lost a really good best friend over something that we should have discussed. :(
Posted by Christina — Thursday, February 4th 2010
I actually went through a very similar falling out in September with my “best friend,” a friend for 9 years. She had a lot of personal issues and expected me to invest my entire life in helping her while she ignored anything I ever had to say. It was a pretty one-sided friendship so I decided to just ignore her. I suppose not talking to her about it and just waiting for her to stop calling, IM-ing, texting, etc. was a bad idea, but I’m glad it’s over. I have no regrets other than I wish I had done it sooner…like when she fucked over all of her other friends and I was the only one to stick around.