Gossiping or Just Sharing?
Okay so this is mildly hard to explain, so I will use letters to label people. Let’s say that A and B do something (for instance, they get really drunk and both do something embarrassing and they kinda keep it quiet). Now, C is a mutual friend of A and B. A is talking to C, and is considering telling C the story about A and B. But, A isn’t sure if he should tell the story, because it does also involve B. What to do?
I’ve found myself in this social dilemma a few times. This time I care a lot less because my friendship with “B” is a lot lot lot less important than it was before. But I still find myself asking if I should share a story that, I personally don’t mind sharing, but don’t know if the other party involved would mind. Would I be talking about him behind his back if I told the story? Or would I be breaching his privacy in some way? But on the other hand, I was there and equally involved, so shouldn’t I be allowed recount what happened?
I know it’s really not as simple as “Well, I was there, so can’t I talk about it?” That’s not exactly a get out of jail free card. But I feel like it’s not exactly gossiping either. I know you could always just tell the story and leave the other person nameless. But that’s no fun is it? Especially when the other person talks about you behind your back. :P
What’s your take on it? Do you love to gossip, or do you prefer to keep to yourself when it comes to your friends and peers?
Hello, my name's Josh and I might be a hipster (you decide!). I've been blogging and designing in some form for the past eight or so years and I think I'm starting to get the hang of it (once again, you decide!). I love indie music, coming of age stories, sarcasm, video games, and aesthetics. At the moment I'm working part-time and going to college with hopes of being a web designer. 
Posted by Chantelle — Monday, January 18th 2010
I’d ask B if it’s okay to share. If s/he says no, then I wouldn’t say anything.
My friends and I talk about each other a lot, but it’s always done in a light-hearted way and we never say things we wouldn’t say to each other’s faces.
Posted by Ann — Monday, January 18th 2010
This happens to me so often – except usually I tell C anyway because I don’t have a problem with them knowing and don’t see why C shouldn’t… even though constantly I am reminded afterwards that other people feel differently to me and B ends up being rather offended. I guess I do love to gossip with friends though, and that’s never really going to change. The only time I’d seriously think twice would be if I wasn’t involved.
Posted by Kaylee — Monday, January 18th 2010
Usually I can instinctively tell if B would mind or not. Are you actually unsure about what B would prefer?
I think the right thing to do would be to just not tell the story, or not give B’s name, but honestly, I would probably just “share” everything :P (Especially if B is a lot less important to me now…)
Posted by Clem — Monday, January 18th 2010
Is this about who I think it’s about? :P If it is, GO FOR IT. If not, I don’t know. Yep, I suck.
Posted by Josh — Monday, January 18th 2010
@Clem If you are thinking of a certain giant-eyebrowed loserhead, then yes. :P
Posted by Clem — Monday, January 18th 2010
Okay, then GO FOR IT! Who cares what loserhead thinks? He is a jerk anyway.